The Chalk Talks Game of Thrones

SPOILERS: If you are not caught up on Game of Thrones,  I would highly advise you to do so before reading this article.

While watching the festivities over the All-Star Break, I was talking with one of my friends about what would happen if, say, Hodor from HBO's Game of Thrones was in the home run derby. While that discussion was hilarious and sad at the same time (it is still too soon to rub salt in that wound), I decided to put together the best possible baseball team given our remaining cast of characters. After all, winter is coming and many of these characters are probably not that much longer for this world.

Our pick for General Manager is...Varys

A general manager needs to keep the "big picture" in mind to determine what is best for the team, when it is time to buy and when it is time to sell, and everybody's favorite "spider" has done that for six seasons and counting. With both the trade deadline and winter rapidly approaching, there would be nobody better than the former Master of Whisperers to determine what rumors are true and what pieces are needed to make this a championship caliber club.

Our pick for manager is...Cersei Lannister

Jeor Mormont would've been a great pick here. After all, he straight up Lou Brown's new recruits of the Night's Watch into a usable force, but alas, the Old Bear didn't make it out of Season 3. Terry Francona has his reputation of being a player's manager, Joe Maddon is an expert in-game strategist, and Tony La Russa seemed to have a sixth sense for when to make the right calls. Other managers demand our respect by threatening to blow us away with Wild Fire. Cersei has managed to outlive much of her competition and you can't say that she isn't adept at playing others to her advantage and getting what she wants.

Our choice for Head Athletic Trainer is...Qyburn

His methods may be questionable, there is some doubt that he actually has a medical license, and the previous Maester seems to have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Nevertheless, you'd be hard pressed to find a better choice for head trainer than the man who literally brought someone back from the dead (though, I believe he may have used some performance enhancing drugs in doing so...seriously, look at the size of that needle).

Our picks for our sports agents are...Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark

Ok, ok. Hear me out on this one. Granted, Littlefinger may have sold out one of his former clients into a horrible situation...

But maybe he had no idea how Ramsay would treat Sansa. Littlefinger hasn't sold out that many people...

Ok. Well, maybe Littlefinger isn't the most trustworthy person to have in your corner. But Sansa Stark is proving that she ready to take on a bigger role in the way things are going to play out in the North.

Our picks to lead our scouting department are...Samwell Tarly and Bran Stark

One of them is clearly a Bill James disciple (if you try to tell me that Sam won't bury himself in statistics and sabermetrics, you're a liar) and the other can literally travel through time and space to scout for new players. It's like Moneyball meets Back to the Future.

Our catcher is...Gregor Clegane aka "The Mountain"
Question: You round third base hard, you're getting closer and closer to home plate, and then you see this guy...

...standing at home plate. Are you going to run him over? I didn't think so.

To play first base, we've got...Brienne of Tarth

Lets be honest, I'm questioning the throwing abilities of the vast majority of our infield. With that being said, what do we need at first base? Someone who is very tall and can reach all of these wild throws while also being nimble enough to maneuver their way around the bag. Lady Brienne is the perfect choice for this position.

To play second base, we've enlisted...Bronn

He's fast, he's agile, and he's not afraid to play dirty (I'm thinking you better not slide in with high spikes on this middle infielder...you'll end up with a slit throat).

To man the hot corner at third base, we've got...Tormund Giantsbane

Ironically, Tormund Giantsbane is already employed in the MLB. Little did anybody know that when he isn't biting out his enemies throats, mating with she-bears, or hanging out with Jon Snow, Tormund has actually been moonlighting as the third baseman for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

At shortstop, we've got...Jon Snow

He has risen from the dead. He has killed white walkers. He has literally saved thousands of wildlings. The only thing that he hasn't done yet is win a World Series ring. He's not always well- liked by his teammates, but if you vote against him, you clearly know nothing.

Out in left field, you'll find...Daario Naharis

He's loud, he's brash, and he's pretty skilled at swinging a sword. Whether or not that actually translates to being a usable baseball player, I don't really know. But then again, Dan Uggla stuck around for awhile while batting well below .200, so given that, I think Daario will do just fine.

Manning center field will be...Grey Worm

Undoubtedly the most athletic player on this team, Grey Worm has been trained methodically from birth. More important than his physical capabilities is his ability to lead. Grey Worm would be the ideal center fielder for this team.

Out in right field, you'll find...Daenerys Targaryen

Ok, the umpires may have some issues with the fact that there are three large dragons swooping around the ballpark. Additionally, given the severe lack of sheep around the vast majority of major league ballparks means that those hot dog vendors are starting to look awfully appetizing and the effect that will have on food sales remains to be seen. Then again, who is going to say no to the Mother of Dragons?

Starting on the mound is...Jaime Lannister

Granted, he may only have one hand, but then again, there are numerous instances of players being successful in baseball with only one hand. Heck, one even threw a no-hitter. My money is on the "Kingslayer" to rack up some K's.

Coming in to close out the game is...Sandor Clegane

Have you ever heard of the "Mad Hungarian"? Al Hrabosky couldn't hold a candle to the Hound. You know that Sandor would bring the metaphorical heat to the mound (just don't mention that he's throwing fire...he hates the stuff). Granted, there may be some awkward family tension given that his brother is the catcher, but isn't everybody still hoping for a "Clegane-bowl"?

In case of a pinch, we'll turn to...Tyrion Lannister

On August 19th, 1951, the St. Louis Browns trotted Eddie Gaedel out to pinch-hit in the bottom of the first in a day-night doubleheader. The diminutive batter stood a commanding three feet and seven inches tall and walked on four straight pitches. When you need to get a runner on base quickly,  Tyrion would be the perfect choice.

As a pinch runner, there is...Arya Stark

All those hours spent in season one chasing cats and pigeons in King's Landing were the perfect training to mold the youngest Stark girl into becoming the league's premier base stealer.

As a base coach, we have...Theon Greyjoy

Oh, what is that? You say that he doesn't have the balls to send runners from third on a shallow pop-fly ball? Well, you might be right about that actually...

As a bat boy, you can do no better than...Podrick Payne

Tyrion's young squire and everybody's favorite playboy supposedly swings a big stick (so much so that the prostitutes of King's Landing refused his money). I suppose he'll do as our team's bat boy.

I'm ready for baseball and Game of Thrones to start back up. Are you?

All images are courtesy of HBO.com and MLB.com.